As ourselves, we are not good enough…WTH?

Maybe it is because I am tired after a 6 hour drive home from the Keys, or maybe it is because I’ve already finished my glass of wine, but regardless of the cause, I am an irritated blogger right now.  I just started reading Orlando Home & Leisure, one of my favorite local rags. However, they have run an article that has gotten my goat, so to speak…

“How Not to Look Your Age” has struck a nerve with me. Now, regular Top 5 readers know I am usually the “good news” or “feel good” blogger, who writes about all the fabulous things going on in Central Florida. It is only when I really have my panties in a bunch that I detour from this route. (i.e. my Dear President Obama post)  So, it is highly unusual for me to write anything negative, but I feel I must take issue with this particular article. Here’s actual tips from the article:

  • “My mom would never think of wearing capri pants with tennis shoes and socks…for heaven’s sake, if you must wear capris, at least wear heels.”  Maybe sometimes, but all the time? Get real, this is Florida. #cutesandalsprevail
  • “Include a tasteful application of black eyeliner (‘gives you an instant facelift’)”  What?  I with my allergies, I rarely wear any eye make up!  #claritin
  • “High waisted panties (‘no ugly lumps’)” According to my hubby, I don’t have ugly lumps no matter what style panties I wear! #hefrequentlylies
  • “and never leave home without make-up (‘the best thing since sliced bread’)”  Don’t even get me started, since I rarely wear it! #andstilllookgood
  • “Adjust your bra straps” Ha! As if I had enough to adjust! #modestlyproportioned

Okay, now I sound like a total granola freak…but I am not. (Reference my spa/salon blog posts as well as my homecoming queen and collegiate cheerleading days as proof!)  But, I do teach middle school, and I am extremely worried about the message articles like these send the budding young ladies I teach.  What message are we sending these girls as well as women of all ages?  That as ourselves, we are not good enough?

I once had a modeling coach tell me that I should dress up for my students, wear pantyhose (in Florida heat!), and always have make up on. When I commented that I rarely wore make up, she said, “Oh, I would never do that to my students…if they saw me without make-up, I would scare them to death.”  I’m sorry… just because she doesn’t have enough self-confidence in her natural appearance to go without make-up, doesn’t mean that I should change mine!

And, I guess that is what it comes down to… self confidence.

I firmly believe that is what I should be teaching my students: confidence in how they look and how they act.

When I coached cheerleading at Rollins College, I would have freshmen arrive with already augmented breasts; before their bodies have even finished growing! (Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with plastic surgery if that is a grown adult’s choice, but give a body a chance to finish maturing!)

And, what about the title of the article in the first place? What is wrong with looking your age?!  All an age means is that you didn’t die before reaching it…and that sounds like a pretty good deal to me!  (Hmmm…. maybe that’s because I turned 40 this year!) But, I would never trade the knowledge I have gained as a 40-year-old to go back and look like I was 20…would you?  Beauty for wisdom is a trade-off I would take any day of the week!

So, while Orlando Home & Leisure is still one of my favorite magazines, I do not think I will finish reading this particular article.

Okay, rant over. 🙂



Filed under Fashion, General Info, Just for Me

5 responses to “As ourselves, we are not good enough…WTH?

  1. Jen

    Preach it Bess!!
    Who are the women trying to impress???
    I wear capris,I don’t own one pair of heels. They are uncomfortable and I’m tall enough at 5’8″.
    I also don’t wear makeup, rarely ever have. It’s hot, and I see no reason to cover up shat my face looks like.
    I’m married with this face and these heelless capris and he loves me for it.

  2. I understand why this article got your (whatever the style) panties in a bunch! Being someone who teaches and coaches women, I felt it too.

    You mentioned that it all comes down to self-confidence and your concern over the message these articles send to our young women. I couldn’t agree more.

    In my opinion, the way to take 10 years off your age, the way to feel younger, the way to avoid “frumpiness” has nothing to do with heels, or panties or makeup. It’s an inside job. Its about taking steps toward addressing the feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, overcommitment, and guilt- the real concern for women- not AGE. The “glow and energy” comes from within from how we feel about ourselves not from another laser treatment. It’s about bringing more of what you love about life into your schedule, living your passion, feeling connected and in service, laughing more, and taking care of yourself. And in the process if YOU decide a sassy pair of kitten heels, a manicure and great fitting bra makes YOU FEEL like a goddess, then I celebrate YOUR choice.

    Let’s stop “shoulding” women with what they “should” wear or not wear and lets begin empowering ourselves to yes, Bess, feel confident in who we are as we are.

  3. OMG, WTF?! The blurbs from the article sound like text from a 1950’s Home Ec class. Maybe you should finish the article to see if it is a “ha-ha” funny jokey-joke. I mean black eyeliner please! Don’t they know that gray and navy blue eyeliners are the new black? And granny panties, should I just toss all my Honey Dew low-rise boyshorts; I think not (NOTE: even if granny -panties were the new “it” item, I could never do polyester!).
    To be beautiful is to be comfortable with who you are in and out!!! So take that and stuff it in your granny panties!!!

  4. BeckiPR

    I don’t want to look younger I want to look good for 40! And you were correct about it all being about self confidence. I like to look pretty when I go to work or go out; but I am just as comfortable with my appearance when I have no make-up on and am running errands. As a school teacher and mom it is essential that I show that I respect myself and do my best to set a good example. I am perhaps a little more into clothes and looking girly than most due to my physique and hostess job, but am just as happy in my workout clothes. In Florida, it often becomes a matter of comfort in this heat as to what you can and can not do. And being one of those Rollins Cheerleaders 20 years ago and a hair model and on the teenboard and growing up with a mom that was a professional model and a sister that was in beauty pageants, I so get the draw to the attention from being glamorous, but still realize that it’s what’s inside and your true feelings about yourself that really draw people to you for the long haul! You don’t have to wear black eyeliner and heals to be admired, Mother Theresa didn’t 🙂

  5. Oops! I made a faux pas…according to the fashion goddesses the new “it” color is purple for eyes. Please forgive my boo-boo!!!

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